Earnestly spoken at almost every traditional American wedding a preacher or justice of peace says, “Speak now or forever hold your peace.” Hopefully this a statement, or normally more of a rhetorical question. Also hopefully isn’t one that you are nervously anticipating with a heavy feeling of doom. If so, ask yourself—who comes to mind? Who stands up during the wedding to speak their mind? The unhappy sister? The big brother? Dad? An ex or worse—a long gone secrete lover?

Ignoring a problem never makes it disappear and this is no different. Just because you ignore your neighbor’s accusations that your grass in the front yard is a half of an inch too high, doesn’t make your neighbor any less irritating. Or of course pretending that you’re not bothered when you have to work overtime, because your co-worker is slacking—doesn’t make it seem any more fair.

What do you do?

One—First off, go to the source. If your ex isn’t a complete lunatic, I’d recommend this: make sure they know you’re coming only to talk! No late night drinks okay?

Let them know that it is over, you’re getting married and very in love with your fiancé—they need to know you’re telling the truth, to believe you and to know it’s true. If it isn’t, well that’s a whole ‘nother blog.

Hold Your Peace

TwoIf step one proves to be useless or if they’re just too crazy, ask a close friend to contact your ex, do the talking or to come with you. Maybe they can help smooth thing over.

ThreeIf step one and two didn’t work get a bag of lye and a shovel. (Relax, I’m just kidding!)

FourIf it’s a family member, try to get them to step into your shoes. Explain the reasons you love your fiancé and how they make you feel good about yourself.

With something like this, take tips from the guys in black suits, (not only the suave limo drivers at but handle is mafia style = tie up your loose ends quickly, before they unravel!

What do you think is too far? What is too much? Let us know in the comments or submit a question you would like for us to tackle!