Running a quality DC car service takes professionalism, legal compliance, and style. Trent had none of those things. Here’s his story.

Some time back (April), I had dinner in DC with my friend Trent.

Trent’s a good guy but he’s got a few screws loose.

We talked about our jobs. Well, I talked about driving for a DC car service. Trent didn’t have a job at the time. (Guess who paid for dinner?) Trent seemed jealous—not only that I was gainfully employed, but at the nature of my employment. I don’t blame him one bit. My job is fan-freaking-tastic.

I should’ve paid closer attention to the nature of Trent’s interest in driving for a DC car service. If I had known what he was about to do, I could’ve saved him from the atrocious transportation sins he was about to inflict upon DC, but alas, they could not be prevented.

After our dinner, Trent and I didn’t see each other for awhile. I was busy providing my superb driving skills to the elite of DC, while it seems Trent’s time was spent starting a less-than-stellar DC car service.

Here is the email Trent sent me yesterday (and my reactions to said email).

Hey Patrick,
Long time no see, bud! I hope the good people of DC are treating you well. Since our last night out, a lot has been going on with me. Your job sounded so awesome, I figured I’d try it myself. But I’m a self-starter, you know? I just can’t work for the man. So I started my own DC car service! YOLO right?!

At this point I am already concerned.

I was raking in the dough at first, but I think it’s time to hang up my chauffeur’s hat? Maybe you can help me out. Yelpers have been leaving horrible reviews for CheepRyde. (What do you think of the name? I think it’s KILLLLERRR!!)

I think it sounds . . . um . . . cheap.

Here are some of my least fave reviews, Pat:

Don’t call me Pat, Trent. We’ve talked about this.

“One CheepRyde was enough for me! I was out with some girlfriends at the bar, and I just wanted a safe ride home. Got in the car, which reeked of . . . maybe patchouli oil? The driver stayed well under the speed limit, and STOPPED at a GREEN light. That’s when I got out. Save a life, don’t use CheepRyde.”

Trent, that wasn’t patchouli oil, was it?

“CheepRyde is lucky I’m not a litigious person. I scheduled a pick up from Dulles airport. I mentioned on the phone that my service dog would be with me. The car was 15 minutes late. When he finally arrived, the driver told me I didn’t look handicapped, and that my dog couldn’t ride. WHAT??? Good luck, CheepRyde. You’re going to need it.”

Trent, there is a golden opportunity here! Start a DC car service for animals!

“I shouldn’t have tried to impress my colleagues with a DC car service named CheepRyde, but I was assured the name didn’t convey the quality of service. I beg to differ.

The driver sat in the car as I opened the door for my associates. After I handed him a bag full of Burger King wrappers from the floorboard, he turned the radio up. My colleagues and I could barely hear each other as we tried to discuss an important business matter. I felt like a teenager, and not in a good way, sliding around as we weaved in and out of DC traffic, all the while being serenaded by our driver. Yes—my boss, a VIP client, and I, got back row seats to this wannabe One Direction concert. I could not be more embarrassed.”

Next time, try ABBA. They go over much better with corporate clients.

Patrick, I don’t know what to do. The phone has stopped ringing. Any advice for a fellow driver?

Oh, Trent. I’m afraid we don’t have much in common as DC drivers. It’s like comparing apples and . . . rotten apples. The best advice I can give is to stop closing your emails with “smooches.”
I shared Trent’s woes with his permission, so you can see the potential danger and embarrassment of not using a licensed, trained and professional DC car service. We undergo a thorough vetting process to become licensed drivers, and that is for a reason.