Whether you’re riding through DC in a limo, sitting at home or scrolling through on your phone, you’ve just found part two of the mini-series–How far is too far? How much is enough?
“Oh, you’re going to love this…” She pulls out a bag of decorations she picked up today for the wedding, then another and another. They’re not to your liking, they might even be hideous; but hey, you like that she likes it.
“Maybe we should keep an eye on the budget,” you remind her softly, because after all you just want to help, but—it backfires.
She wants the wedding to be perfect and you want her to be happy. But to what end? How much is just too much?
The stress is kickin’ in and your bank account is starting to drain…
If you feel the spending is having negative effects on your relationship; if it’s causing financial insecurities, you need to know when to say—enough is enough.
I’m not putting all the blame on women here and just like most women, I too, enjoy nice things. It doesn’t matter who you are, we all have our habits and dependencies. We often use them because we are lacking somewhere else in life, or we use our bad habits to cope with stress. Even though it’s a fantastic and exciting time in our life, getting married can be stressful too.
- Let them know in a non-threatening way that—It’s time to talk. Express your love for your partner, be realistic, but not harsh or hurtful. Remind your significant other that this is just the beginning, not the end and in order to achieve your upcoming plans and or dreams together, you need to shop smart and save for the future.
- NO matter what–stay calm, nothing will be accomplished through yelling and name calling. Even if your significant other feels threatened, becomes defensive and raises their voice, keep it together!
- Use “I” statements when speaking to your companion. Begin sentences with, “I feel, I think.” Avoid using attacking words like, “You! You’re spending all our money on the wedding!” “What have YOU done? What would YOU do this to us?”
- ASK! Find out the underhand problem. Ask your fiancée why all these things are so important to them. Are they nervously blowing your money because of anxiety? Are they insecure in some way? (Even possibly about the wedding itself?) Get to the bottom of it!
5. Never Compare! Remember to let them know not to compare your wedding to others. Your relationship is unique and so should be your wedding. Remind your significant tell them, “We don’t need these things to be happy or in love, or to show people that we are.”
6. Take care of what you can. To minimize stress and spending on your partners behalf, do some of the quick stuff, like finding the perfect limo company in DC, or quick catering.
- Help! Ask her help, friends, and family, anyone close that may be able to reach your fiancée in a way that they don’t feel attacked.
Remind yourselves that this is only ONE day! One day of your lives and that you two as newlyweds will still have the rest of your lives together. There’s no reason to empty the bank account for one day, although that day is an important one, it’s your love that really matters.
When do you think enough if enough? What do you think is too much? We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or ask a question that you would like for us to answer!